queen pong

I think my soul is detaching from the house. The family.

Ever since that day I couldnt controlled myself and talked rudely to my mother. That has become part of the many many many times of communication breakdown we had.

The problem is I know that i was or am in the wrong, but somehow I can no longer bring myself to talk nicely to them. Let's just say, my heart wants to but my mind doesnt. Sounds logical? Haha.

These few weeks I have been working till 9pm, reach home around 10 and would go for a 30 mins jog every alternate days. After shower, they would have been in their room getting ready to sleep. So every night I would be by myself loh, MSNing, YouTubing, watching TV etc.

And in the morning, my mum would have left the house by the time I wake up.

As for weekends, when I have the day free (nobody wants to date me lah! pui!), they would not be. Go KTV lah, friends gathering lah, alumni gathering lah all those stuffs. And when I am not free, they would be free.

So things are getting from bad to worse worse worse.

My life is shut off to them. Theirs too.

They dont even bother asking me anything anymore. Probably coz they cant be bothered with my rude answers.

I am in the wrong but I cant bring myself to talk to them nicely! I cant! AND I DUNNOE WHY!
This is so frustrating.

They did make an attempt, I assume. Coz they bought 4 tickets to the Potter movie coming up for them, my sis and me. From their alumni connections. On a Sunday and unfortunately, I have to work. My colleagues and I have planned a roster to make sure there's a practitioner everyday at the centre and it was approved so I have to work weekends.

But good news is that I have chosen Tuesdays off which means I AM GOING NETBALL again! At least for both the weeks!

Back to the main topic.

Deep down, I was actually quite happy to know they have an intention to organize a family outing. But dunnoe why again, on the surface, I felt that I couldnt very much be bothered.

I would think why they are not bothering about me but when they do actually bother about me, I would silently wish they are not.

I am reading this book that has this character moving away from her old life and starting a new one at another state, with a new job and great apartment mates. She falsified herself because she wanted to start afresh and she was really happy. Ok, I only read till here. 3 chapters I summarized into 2 sentences? HAHAHA.

Ya, migration (to Australia of coz!) did cross my mind but wouldnt I be damn unfilial? My lil' sister would hate me man, for leaving the parents with her only. Oh actually hor, this idea was put into my head by my elder sis who is REALLY thinking of migrating to Aussie. So yes, my lil' sis would hate the both of us. hoho.

Ok I dunnoe how lah. Been too long. Toooooo loooooooooong.

Shu Ping babbled at 12:03 am